How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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