just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
