Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize