i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
