I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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