she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
