i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize