My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize