I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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