haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
