I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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