My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
