oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
