It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
false alarm, still single
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
