chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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