Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
