is your mom at the bar?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
