You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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