I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
