I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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