I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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