she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
