Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
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YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
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Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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