I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just puked most of my soul out..
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize