dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
