her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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