Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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