..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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