you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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