You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She said her name was "party"
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
