Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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