I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
