I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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