I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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