Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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