you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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