so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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