You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
