end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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