Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
