Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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