porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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