I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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