I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
