I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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