My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
