just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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