I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Randomize
