how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
