K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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