I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
