Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
