This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
