My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
