Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
