He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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