I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
