Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm passing your future prison.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
