We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
