The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
