I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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