At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
