If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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