You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
