I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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