Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i think im in europe. pls send help
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
