I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
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Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
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We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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