the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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