I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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