I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
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IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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