Girls should come with a carfax report
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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