Your face is a jimmy john
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
